How to Make your Marriage Work,by Stella Mengele

Kamba music artist and marriage counselor, Stella Mengele[Photo: kituionline]

“For those younger than me in marriage; Only Six years and below:

#Lesson 1: Do not take in your younger siblings or nieces & nephews to live with you immediately. That is before you are around 5 years old in marriage and to some, it could take longer.

My friends, you don’t know yourselves when you get married. You think you know him/her because you’ve dated for five years? Pole Sana. Wait until you sleep on the same bed every night, share the same toilet everyday, share The same space and it is that way for Life. Akiumwa na tumbo uko hapo. Ukishuta ako hapo. Ukishrub ako hapo. Ukin’gorota, ako hapo. You have no privacy and you share literally everything. If you used to see 2 mistakes on your once every week’s date, now you’ll see 100 mistakes everyday because you are together throughout🙆.

God had a reason for us not giving birth to grown up and talking babies. It’s because parents and marriages are also growing the same time their children grow. There are mistakes you’ll make in your early marriage years that need Just the two of you to figure out how to fix. You’ll Get annoyed, even disgusted with your choice of a life partner but you’ll need to Cool down and be objective and later realize how precious your spouse is And how you too are flawed, maybe worse than him/her in some areas.💏🙈

You’ll need to learn how to disagree and fight and make peace as a couple. That’s something you learn slowly through several disagreements and you don’t need an opinionated third party in your house during this period of growth. Because they’ll make you find a refuge outside your spouse Everytime you fight and that’s how cheating starts. You look for solace outside because you don’t feel understood.

You should work it out until you understand each other and comfort each other without involving a third party unless it’s beyond you two. That’s why your little baby doesn’t understand or speak, because you need to figure out These things before they are old enough to hear, understand and talk about your issues. By the time they are grown and talking you people should have found a way to fight and solve In private and walk out as one.

You don’t have to Accommodate your siblings in your new house with your New spouse so that you show that you are helping your family. My friend, kama unataka kusaidia, lipa school fees na waishi na wazazi wao ama upeleke boarding school. Exposing your wife/husband to your relatives Early in marriage Will bring disrespect to your spouse and expose every little weakness of his/hers to your whole clan. You’ll make them not to accept her/him and you May regret.”

To get more look for: #SiriYaMaishaIsOnYoutube

Lesson to be continued…

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